Enraptured Reality

Phantasm. Bewilderment. Clairvoyance.


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Recollection: How nice are you?

I get it. Others’ feelings aren’t your responsibility, but hey, haven’t youΒ realized that we are all connected in a circle that never ends and in one way or another we really affect each other’s lives? (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.)

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Last week, I binge-watched the seriesΒ Thirteen Reasons Why. I’ve read a lot of reviews about it, both good and bad, inviting people to watch vs refraining people to watch it — I gave in to the former, because it was really intriguing and the theme really caught my attention. I won’t lose anything anyway, and it’s so easy to stop if ever I wouldn’t like what I was watching.

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Revival

16 of #100HappyThings

Since my favorite number is sixteen (I was born on the 16th of February), I want this one to be another realization post. So yes, expect this one to be random and really personal.

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The title of this post was actually referenced to Selena Gomez‘s latest album, Revival. All of her songs in this album are great, and it’s a soundtrack to every person who’s been revived.

Last year, I felt imprisoned because I was keeping a lot of things – from my friends, from my family, from myself. It’s funny how everything that felt so right just a year ago, perhaps even around six months ago, feels so wrong now, and knowing that I am finally out of it is one of the best feelings ever. It’s good to finally get a hold of freedom – something that I had kept myself from for a long time.

It’s cool to see that within two months of freedom, I’ve already had 15 #100HappyThings, this realization post being the 16th. It feels liberating that piece by piece, I’m finally going back to the same old me, surely even better. I may have lost people along the way, but I’ve found myself, and I know that’s the most important thing.

Of course I wouldn’t deny the hopeless romantic in me. As someone who’s been surrounded with different kinds of books for my whole life, from the fairy tales that made me believe in happy ever after to Nicholas Sparks who made me realize that love isn’t always as smooth as you want it to be, I still do believe in the wonders of love‘s existence. I still believe that someone out there is doing his best to become the right one for me, as I do my best to become the right one for him. I know that God’s timing is impeccable, and that when He finally says that it’s time, I would finally understand why things never worked out with those people in the past. I know God would give me someone who shares the same values with me – someone who puts God first all the time, someone who values his family, someone who knows the true meaning of respect, and someone who dreams big, like I do. God may give me someone who’s bored with books as much as I adore them, who hates coffee as much as I am addicted to them, who despises Instagram-ing everything as much as I oblige myself to do it (haha), but I know God knows what He’s doing and by the time that I am finally ready, God will surely give me a sign, and I’ll know it.

I’ve learned a lot of lessons: Don’t trust easily. Don’t give your all. Don’t depend your happiness on someone. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. But scratch that. Scratch all the restrictions. Now I’d rather say, trust gradually. Leave something for yourself. Be your own happiness. Be your own happy pill. Love yourself and be your own cheerleader. Stand tall and make them wonder why you’re still doing great despite everything you’ve been through. Be passionate and rock the world. Sing and dance and scream like nobody’s watching because who cares?

JUST SLAY IT.