Tunnel

It is not the money on your pocket
That lets you buy an expensive cigarette;
Not the fortune you’ve been saving,
All for the glory of extravagant spending.

It is not the beauty of being high above the sky,
Seeing the clouds below you as you fly,
Or the scream as you take a deep breath,
And jump on the cliff as if it’s your death.

It is not the diamond on your finger
With a promise still uncertain from your lover;
Not the way they call your name,
A superiority you won from a dangerous game.

One may tell a tale so worthy,
But the end is not entirely its beauty;
For it is not the end of the tunnel you crossed,
But the journey, all the risks you tossed.

Always Towards Better Things

A dark night
No star to light
A question of who the voices are
Screaming inside, crying is a song,
Can they hear it?

Oh, they cannot –
They do not want to;
They shut their ears,
But no, it’s not about them.

It’s about the song,
Nobody hears;
The dance,
Nobody moves;
The poem,
Nobody recites.

It’s not about them.

It’s about the song,
One that should be sang;
The dance,
One that should be played.
The poem,
One that should be read.

And in the dark night,
If there is no star,
Look for the moon:
Borrowed light, unreal;
But there it is.

One more day,
one more step,
one more breath:
Semper ad meliora.

A Tear for Fear

First of the year.

I’m trying my best to cope with something that I’ve been going through lately, so I guess I’m sorry, self, for starting the year (and the decade) with a sad piece.

Stuck in a Box

Art by Robin Cox Walsh

 

For the most years of my life, I have always felt suffocated. I couldn’t breathe. It’s like I keep on drowning repeatedly even though I know how to swim… Or maybe I don’t? I feel choked and I couldn’t ask for help because I couldn’t scream. I am in a constant state of struggle. And what makes it even worse is that I don’t know when this will end, and if it ever will.

I am doing my best to see the bright side, or at least the less of the dark. But the more I try to shed some light, the more I see the shadows that keep on blocking the that little spark. I’ve been trying. I still am. But in every step forward, there are always two steps back. And I’m tired of exerting all my effort to push when everything’s just pulling me, and here obviously progress is not an option.

I thought life is more than walls and edges… But why am I still inside this cube?

I don’t want a new box. I just need this one where I’m stuck to open.

2019 Randomly Today Vol. 2

Hollah! Today is June’s last working day. It’s been a long week for me, so here I am squeezing in a Randomly Today entry. 🙂

Reading

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling for the second time and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. I’ve also been reading some articles about how to prepare for the Philippine Law School Admission Test (PhiLSAT) and law schools’ entrance exams.

Watching

Lucifer on Netflix. I’m planning to watch the last episode of Season 3 on my way home later to kill traffic time.

Writing

a study plan and schedule as preparation for the PhiLSAT and law aptitude/admission exams (LAE’s).

Thinking

of how am I going home if it rains hard when I log out. Please, no. 😦

Wanting

a good and long sleep tonight. The weather is just too friendly for that.

Wearing

a white Harry Potter fan shirt! I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!

Needing

to go back to the gym and resume working out! I feel really bloated. I haven’t visited the gym for a month now — talk about wasting a month of membership fee. Next week’s probably good for a come back. But first, I gotta fix my sched.

Feeling

full! Lunch earlier was really heavy, so heavy that I might actually skip dinner and finally get a well-deserved zzzz…

 

That’s all for today’s random life update. Hope everything’s been going well with you! xx

Randomly Today series is inspired by siddarhornton‘s The Sunday Currently.