A Tear for Fear

First of the year.

I’m trying my best to cope with something that I’ve been going through lately, so I guess I’m sorry, self, for starting the year (and the decade) with a sad piece.

To Hold

It’s been awhile.

Maynila

Wrote a short verse while on my way to work this morning. Magandang umaga! 😊

The photo was taken along Jones Bridge, Manila, Philippines and was post-processed by yours truly.

Oh-ghost!

Awoo! Ghost month is here! I was supposed to write something yesterday to welcome the month but I quite maxed out my mental energy at work and hit the gym in evening. When I arrived home, I was already too sleepy to think of words. Anyhoo, 2019 is seven months down, and whether you felt it or not, more than half of the year has already passed.

I’ve been planning to write about two things in the next few days:

First, I would like to share my recent visit in my parents’ hometown, Calayan Islands. That’s where my blog header photo was taken. We went home last June when my grandmother passed away. I made quick trips in some touristy places before we left, so I wanna share it here to promote Calayan’s tourism further. I know there are already a few blog posts in the web in tourists’ perspective, but as someone who proudly has her roots in that humble island, let me use this space to share some thoughts (and photos, too!).

Another is something that I’ve already been asked several times, both here in my blog and in person – FAQs about University of the Philippines Open University (UPOU). I’m already in my final year with few remaining units to take. It’s been a great journey and I think it’s about time for me to share my experience and insights about it. 🙂

I wish to be able to squeeze these two in the next few weeks! Hope that I won’t ghost this blog again, since ghosting is such a thing nowadays. Lol 🙂

Stuck in a Box

Art by Robin Cox Walsh

 

For the most years of my life, I have always felt suffocated. I couldn’t breathe. It’s like I keep on drowning repeatedly even though I know how to swim… Or maybe I don’t? I feel choked and I couldn’t ask for help because I couldn’t scream. I am in a constant state of struggle. And what makes it even worse is that I don’t know when this will end, and if it ever will.

I am doing my best to see the bright side, or at least the less of the dark. But the more I try to shed some light, the more I see the shadows that keep on blocking the that little spark. I’ve been trying. I still am. But in every step forward, there are always two steps back. And I’m tired of exerting all my effort to push when everything’s just pulling me, and here obviously progress is not an option.

I thought life is more than walls and edges… But why am I still inside this cube?

I don’t want a new box. I just need this one where I’m stuck to open.