I thought I was done with homework when I finished grad school. But I wanted to be prepared for my commencement speech. So I did what any self-respecting social scientist would do. I started reading studies of graduation speeches. And I decided I would give a graduation speech about graduation speeches.
She’s different, this girl. You’ve known that from the second you laid eyes on her.
It’s the way she smiles, how it seems to stretch across her face like a child’s—innocent and unconscious. It’s her laugh, and the way that it sneaks into conversation and makes the moment just a little brighter. It’s the way she listens, with her eyes, staring into your soul, making you feel like you’ve known her all your life. You can feel your heart slipping as the moment lingers.
She seems to know you like no one else does.
And that’s because she sees you, the real you, behind all your layers.
A girl with a big heart knows that the world is a flawed place. She’s had her fair share of pain and disappointment, but she’s chosen to turn her face to happiness, not negativity. She’s chosen to wake up with a smile, chosen to see the light, chosen to find reasons to feel good, to bless others, and to live purposefully.
She’s always seen the world as big and scary, but believed that with small steps she could make it start to shine. She has no problem reaching out to others, giving change to the homeless, offering to help the sick, opening the doors for people behind her, or smiling at strangers, just because.
She believes in the good, in forgiveness, in generosity, and in appreciating the small things. She sees people as blessings and this life as beautiful. And she loves and loves and loves.
A girl with a big heart will change the way you see love. See, she’s not afraid to give all of herself to someone. She’s not timid. She’s not guarded. Instead, she opens. She trusts. She goes all in.
She sees people as opportunities—opportunities for love, for connection, for relationships, for growth, for happiness. And she loves because that’s what is inherent within her, to give to others and to put them first.
When you love a girl with a big heart, nothing before matters. Not the way you were treated, the past relationships that broke you, the trust that was crushed, the moments that left you feeling shattered. All that matters is her arms, her embrace, her beautiful soul wanting to love you in the best way she can.
She will erase the pain from your mind and build new memories. She will teach you how it feels to be cared for, to be trusted, to be safe.
She will make you laugh and cry, make you learn and grow, make you wonder how you were living on this earth without her all this time.
She will love you, and keep on loving you. Even when times get tough, even when you feel defeated, even when you’re scared to love her back the same way. She will love you when you’re tired and worn, when you’re lonely and closed-off, when you don’t think you could ever give her that same amount of love in return.
She will show you how, and you will.
See, the girl with a big heart is not perfect. But she loves so deeply. She continues, even after brokenness, and she continues because she believes in the power of two connected souls.
She will change the way you see relationships. She will change the way you feel when you get up in the morning, making you refreshed and renewed. She will bring more sunshine to your life than there ever was before. And I promise, her light won’t die out.
So find her, and don’t let her go.
Don’t fall in love with a writer, for she will break your heart in every possible way. She will reminisce about the past with such great vividness that she brings them to life once again. She will create monsters in her mind that will eat her up in her sleep, leaving even you a victim. She will write down every heartache and pain you never knew existed for everyone to read. She will describe you magnificently in her stories that it will blur the lines between fiction and reality. She will write poetry on your skin—perhaps even turn you into one. She will have sleepless nights contemplating every supposedly “harmless” word you told her until it drills a hole in her brain. She will twist them and will try to find meaning.
Writers are over thinkers and they will take everything to heart, changing her perception about herself. For words, her favorite weapon, will also be her greatest downfall. She will overflow with emotions and she will choke on the songs that she once sang. She will let herself crumple like paper—thin enough to cut through your skin—and will surround you with her vulnerability until it weighs you down with guilt. She will leave you even more clueless than the first time. Leaving trails of words that sting on your soul—words that she never meant fully but said recklessly. She will mark your heart like it is her territory, and every mark shall be painfully familiar, yet you will keep begging for another scar as if it was a way of ingraining a piece of her on you.
Don’t fall in love with a writer because she’s addictive and will have you begging for more, numb and aware of the pain that comes with loving her. She will paralyze you with her beauty and intelligence. She is the perfect storm that you will be willing enough to brave. But she is too powerful for her own good and she will leave you wondering where you could have possibly went wrong again, and again, and again.
But she chose a man like you because you are strong enough for a challenging a fragile girl like her. Pick her up and glue her pieces until she is whole again. Do not give up on a girl who will immortalize every detail of you, and turn you into a masterpiece that she will spectate upon every day of her life.
You are the moon, the sun, and every breath of constellation in her being. That is the girl you do not simply give up on, but that is also the kind of girl that is dangerous to fall in love with.
It was the longest night of the year. Winter solstice, I recalled. I was sitting on the floor of our front porch while trying to name all the constellations I could find. The December breeze was music of Christmas spirit and the sky was an art of glittering stars.
It’s a privilege to still be able to contribute a piece to Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants – Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila Chapter‘s website (click here). It’s been two years since my term as the Editor-in-Chief of JPIA-PLM’s official publication, The Ledger, had ended, but the fulfillment of being able to publish a magazine and maintain our organization’s website (click here) for the federation year 2012-2013 will always stay with me.
Thanks for this, Renee (incumbent EIC)! 🙂
You will meet her somewhere along the corridors laughing with her group of friends. You will meet her in a forum with a sincere social advocacy. You will meet her inside your favorite coffee shop alone with a book stuck on her nose.
You can find her anywhere, and you’ll know that she’s a Nice Girl because she’ll smile at you the moment you approach her – that genuine smile that will sweep you off your feet. She may not be the prettiest girl you’ll ever meet, but you can’t deny the fact that she’s got sophisticated eyes and that there’s just too much positivity inside her soul. You’ll get along with her easily because she’s always been good to people around her. She’s that ambivert lady who walks confident but still prefers to be alone in most times of day, someone who thinks like an introvert but acts like an extrovert. She’s that girl who acts in between those two extremes. And she’s just too cool for that.
You’ll hear her curse, but it just looks so cute on her. She’s quirky, and you’ll love her for that. She’s not as fine as your ex-girlfriend, but she’s just too natural and you can’t help but appreciate how she’s becoming too real when she’s with you.
But don’t fall in love with her. Don’t fall in love with a nice girl. She will just break your heart. You will fall for her hard because she’s too nice, but she might only see you as a friend. She might like someone else and it’s just hard to hate her for that because she didn’t do anything to hurt you at her will. It’s just that the feeling isn’t mutual, and you’ll just find it tough to let go and move on because she was just the best girl you’ve ever met. Don’t fall in love with her, because she will just be the reason why you’d not want to fall in love again, because the Nice Girl isn’t actually as easy as you think. She’s tough. You’ll count weeks before you can actually hold her hand, and more weeks before you can finally kiss her lips. She’s the girl your Mom or Dad has told you too keep once you’ve found her, and since you’ve actually found her, it’s just hard to let her go, even though you never actually had her.
She’ll open up easily, even though she has trust issues, because she’s giving you the benefit of the doubt; because the moment you asked for her number and gave that cue that you’re into something else, she has let her walls down thinking that you might be different from the men she has met before, no matter how afraid she is.
So don’t fall in love with her. Don’t fall in love with a Nice Girl. Don’t fall in love with a nice girl because you will just hurt her. She’s too nice to believe the sweetness and thoughtfulness you’ve shown, and even if she had been hurt before, she’s too vulnerable to not fall for you because you have shown her the care she has always wanted and the love she has always needed. Don’t fall in love with her because she will fall in love with you, and when she’s already in love with you, you might just be stupid enough to do things that could break her heart. She’ll always be too nice to forgive you whenever you say sorry, and you’ll be just a douchebag to do it all again, because you know she’s too nice to not give you another chance.
Don’t fall in love with a Nice Girl because you might just make the greatest mistakes when you already have her. Ain’t that the truth? You’ll never what you got until it’s gone. You’ll take her for granted because she’s too good to be true. She’ll forgive you a hundred times because she loves you more than enough. But she’ll give up. The Nice Girl will give up not because she doesn’t love you anymore, but because she’ll realize that she deserves the best. She’ll realize the damage you’ve done, and she’ll move on, put her walls up again, guard her heart, and try to take some time alone once more. She’ll always be nice, but this time she’ll be a little wiser.
By then you’ll realize you’ve lost the one your Mom and Dad had told you to keep. So don’t fall in love with a Nice Girl. Be in love with her everyday of your life instead. Don’t just fall; be the one to catch her because she’ll fall for you, too. She’ll love you with all her heart and she’ll never fail to surprise you as she makes mundane things special. She’ll be the best girl you’ll ever have, so be brave enough to fight for her, and don’t ever break her heart. Don’t make the Nice Girl cry. Don’t fall in love with a Nice Girl if you can’t give it all. Don’t fall in love with a Nice Girl if you can’t be the best for her, because she’ll do her best to be the best for you.
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