12 of #100HappyThings
The past three months of my self-imposed recovery period was pathetic. I admit that I had been ranting over Twitter and Snapchat about irrelevant stuff. I had to let it all out until there’s no more, until I can finally say, “Hey, I’m done with it.”
Experiences like this will happen to us in our lifetime at least once, and it will make us question our worth, lower our self-esteem, wonder why we weren’t good enough despite everything we’ve done – it will make us ask ourselves, “What’s wrong with you?” I wouldn’t deny becoming the annoying crazy ex-girlfriend. No, I never begged for him to come back, I didn’t even thought of asking him to reconcile to be friends again. I needed time. I needed to feel sad and angry to make me say that I’m finally okay. And as I write the words right at this very moment, it feels good to not feel any grudge anymore towards the people who hurt me. It feels good to finally say without bitterness, “Thank God it happened.”
Though there are still some flashbacks that cross my memory sometimes, I’m glad that they’re already blurry. There are no more vivid views of them at the back of my mind. I still do have regrets, yes, but I still have a bigger life in front of me, and that’s what matters.
And so I say this to myself: Let yourself fall, but guard your heart, and let God unfold whatever it is that He has planned for you. Your perfect time with the perfect person will come. Just trust Him.
