Enraptured Reality

Phantasm. Bewilderment. Clairvoyance.

The Juggle

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I just thought I needed to squeeze in a blog post to keep the sanity in me. I have wanted to blog for days but never found the time to… Finally. I thought I needed to at least gather my thoughts to pacify the clamors in my head. It’s been a crazy January, and now that February has come (WHEW BIRTH MONTH), I know I really need to get myself together (get my sh*t together, rather).

Apparently, I’m in this battle again, and I’m determined and motivated now more than ever, though I admit there are still [a lot of] times that complacency visits me and I entertain its company (like now, I should be doing more relevant things but hey, I really need a break – present tense). There are times when I feel disturbed but because of my various sources of strength, I’m still rocking on (with a head bang, LOL).

As part of my 2015 Resolutions (if I could call this a resolution), I write a one-sentenced “Thank you, Lord…” and random scribbles (Bible verses, quotes, brief stories of what happened during the day, etc.) on my planner every day. Doing this made [and makes] me feel good about myself and helps me think more positively. It makes me realize that no matter what happens, we should always be thankful to the Higher Power who blesses us so much. As what a line from a poem said, “When you’ve counted all your blessings and name them one by one, you’ll stand in owe before the Lord for all that He has done.”

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I also bought my own Bible, and I highlight at least one verse a day to remind me of GOD’s unfailing love, and how to love Him back.

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I also bought Bianca Gonzalez-Intal‘s book, Paano Ba ‘To?! (How to Survive Growing Up), and the insights and pieces of advice in this book are really helpful. [I’ll try to make a post solely about it if time permits.]

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These two are part of my birthday gifts to self since I would be turning 2* in a few days. YAY.

Aside from these self-imposed what-abouts, I am very much thankful for having someone who really [tries to] understand the complexity of my [-slash our] situation. No matter how tough the things seem to be going, I still feel appreciated, valued, cared for, and most of all, loved. This wouldn’t be an easy struggle if I’m going through this alone – thankfully I’m not. Aside from my family and friends, I have a go-to person whom I can be vulnerable with when I can’t seem to get up and show off my portrayed fierceness.

It’s not every day that you meet someone who accepts you wholeheartedly, thinks of you as someone to keep, and most especially, brings out the best in you. I am inspired every day, I smile genuinely every day, and I feel incredibly happy every day, despite the rough situation. It’s always in my prayers that in God’s perfect time, everything will be alright. I know it will be given to me, to us. Patience, understanding, trust and faithlove conquers all, they say. Even if timing‘s being a b*tch right now, I know it will be at its best someday… Someday.

Whatever. I should go back to reality now. As in right now.

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Author: Clau

A music junkie obsessed with coffee, books and writing erratic oeuvres

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