I am just starting my life. I may have lived for more than two decades now, but I know that I am just starting the real life. I’ve had too much, but I know I still have so much more to learn; which brings me to write this post about my favorite track from Taylor Swift‘s latest album, 1989.
Track No. 2. BLANK SPACE.
Man, I could listen to this song all day. No kidding.
This song is something that I really can relate with at the moment. People (IYKWIM) come and go, and it’s something that’s inevitable. I used to ask what the hell was wrong with me (oh yes, past tense) before because I seemed to always be the one who’s left behind, and well, yeah, I thought right. There was something wrong with me. I cared too much. I’ve always been the one who cared more. I was so stupid because I had begged for those people to stay when they were already leaving. Hah! Pathetic, you say. Pathetic, I agree. And it’s just funny ’cause I am already laughing about it now. Isn’t it amazing when you’ve come to realize that you’re now fine? You still kind of care because those things happened, but you now just care because, well, they happened. Past tense.
I have never been too public with that aspect of my life. Even though I’m so loud at social media, I rarely post photos of me and *insert whoever’s name* and everything that’s within the ‘Hey, meet my beau’ parameter because I’ve always been private about that. For the record, I have never changed my relationship status for real. It has always been a complicated status, widow or in a relationship for a PRANK, or just BLANK.
I’ve been a target of third parties, trust issues and false hopes since my hypothalamus (correct me if I’m wrong; dude, I’m not a Biology major) learned how to fall in love. I guess that’s really how the cycle goes. You fall, you crash, you heal, and then you fall again, and it just goes round and round.
I wouldn’t deny that I am weird and crazy. I love having ice creams at 2AM. Geez, my favorite time of day is 2AM. I write poems out of the blue, make calligraphy art, take photos of mundane things (plus selfies), dance like nobody’s watching even though almost everyone actually is, sing at the top of my lungs, start to write songs but never actually finish them… One word: RANDOM. I could be at my best and worst at the same time, but swear, I know I’m somehow doing a good job in handling myself because I know who I am. I talk too much when I’m happy, and shut the hell up when I’m mad until [maybe] I could no longer take it all because of too much fury. At most and at least, I know that I am nothing ordinary.
At the moment, I’m enjoying the gains of what I have lost. There’s this struggle of multiple souls inside me but I’m coping with it because even though most souls are confused and are still trying to figure out what they are up to, all those souls are happy. All those souls are flying in the open right now. They’re not looking for something to hold on to, but they’re waiting for the bliss.
When I’m finally ready to burn the walls I’ve built around me and put my guards down, I know I have more than enough to offer. I love how I have been taking my time, and I can give a good punch to knock the bad vibes out. I’m all for good. I may be young and reckless, but I’d be more than willing to write whoever’s name in my blank space if circumstances prove that whoever that person is is worth it.
And no matter how painful the past had been, no matter how nasty the scars are, WE should always leave a blank space for that someone who’s willing to turn it all around. We could show incredible things, be the king or the queen. Shit happens, but hey, remember this one, too: SHIT PASSES. 😉